Five Stages of Grief
by half-goddess-Katia
Summary: The five stages of grief for Eiji as he deals with the loss of his friend.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kamen Rider OOO, and I am making no money off of this. This is solely for my own and other's entertainment.

**AN: **I'm alive! And my muse has struck again, though I don't know why she decided that this had to be written. I do know it came from a discussion a friend and I had about the movie though.

**Warnings:** Spoilers for the end of the series and the OOO/Fourze Mega Max movie (with a slight twist on the second). Can be read as romantic or close friendship, it's up to you.

_**Five Stages of Grief**_

**Denial**

Despite the bandages he could feel against his skin, the aches he could feel in all his muscles, and the edges of the Medal he could feel digging into his palm where he'd obviously refused to ever let it go, Eiji's first thought – _hope_ – was that it was all a bad dream, it _had_ to be. Even when he opened his eyes and saw that the room was empty, he didn't quite believe it. He had to, though, when he opened his fist and saw the two halves of the Taka Medal, it was impossible to deny when he held the broken Core of what had been Ankh in his hand.

Eiji felt his eyes tear up, and he pushed it back, using the pain from where the Medal's sharp edges dug into his palm as his hand clenched back into a fist to help him focus. He couldn't afford to break down now because if he did he wasn't sure if he'd be able to put himself back together, and that _wasn't_ an option. He may not be able to deny the fact that Ankh was gone, but he _wouldn't_ – _couldn't,_ really – accept that it was permanent.

**Anger**

Eiji found that his anger was mostly self-directed. He should've noticed that something was wrong; he should've questioned Ankh as to why the blond had been acting the way he had. It didn't matter that, logically, Eiji knew he hadn't had much of a chance to notice that anything was wrong, he'd been understandably distracted by his own gradual transformation into a Greeed. It didn't matter that he'd thought the crack he'd seen was just another transformation-induced hallucination, that he hadn't had time to ask. All that mattered was that he _hadn't_ done anything when he could've. Eiji wasn't sure if he'd ever forgive himself for that.

A small portion of his anger, though, was reserved for Ankh. _Why_ hadn't the blond chosen to be selfish as he had so many times before? The one time that would've been his first choice, the red Greeed had to take a page out of Eiji's own self-sacrificing handbook and chosen to be so damn selfishly unselfish. And perhaps that, again, was Eiji's own faulty, damn it.

**Bargaining**

Eiji spent most of the next year in a state of near-constant bargaining. If he pushed himself just a little bit harder, just a little bit longer, then maybe the next lead would pay off. If he helped just a few more people, gave just a bit more of himself, then maybe he'd find then answers he _needed_ so much more than he'd thought possible. If he never stopped looking, never gave up, maybe he'd even wake up one day to find that this had all been one really long and horrible nightmare.

Too bad he had never been that great at bargaining to get what he wanted most.

**Depression**

Depression hit him near the end of that first year, after the anger had faded, the bargaining had proven fruitless, and even denying what began to seem inevitable didn't help. No matter how many people he saved or leads he followed, no matter that he hadn't stopped looking since the day he'd woken to this new reality, he never seemed to _get_ anywhere. He was never able to help the one person he wanted to the most.

He had just wanted to give Ankh the chance to _live_; he'd have given anything to be able to do that. Even if it wasn't supposed to have been easy, surely he should've found _something_ by now. He had failed, though, and it was getting harder every day to smile and hold on to that last bit of hope, to not show his friends that he was wavering. Maybe that was why he'd decided to return to Japan, because he needed to remind himself what all was riding on his shoulders.

It turned out to be the best decision he'd ever made.

**Acceptance**

Even as he watched Miharu-kun leave, Eiji felt the presence of the red Greeed behind him disappear. He felt a bit sad knowing that Ankh was gone for good this time, but he'd also finally found some closure.

When he'd found out that Ankh had been dragged from the past somehow – from that time after they'd started fighting, before they'd teamed up again – Eiji hadn't been sure what to say or how to say it. He hadn't needed to say anything it turned out. Who ever had pulled the blond forward – Ankh wasn't saying for reasons that Eiji understood – had filled in enough details so that he got the gist of things. Eiji couldn't help but be relieved because he hadn't been sure how to tell the blond he'd died, and, when he said as much, Ankh shot him a strange look.

"Only you," the red Greeed said, "would say that a pile of Medals could die. I was never even alive in the first place."

"You were," Eiji refuted, his face and voice going stubborn. "Of course you were alive. You lived every day as you learned about the world and people around you. I saw you live, and no one who knew you could deny it."

The strange look was back, and there was silence for a moment before Ankh said, "I got my own wish then, if that's how you see it."

"It is." Eiji's face crumpled then, and he whispered brokenly, "You should have more time though. A year isn't nearly enough, there's so much you haven't gotten to see, and I've been trying this whole time to just bring you _back_ –."

"Don't," Ankh cut in suddenly. When Eiji's shocked eyes met his, Ankh scowled exasperatedly for a moment – an expression that was so familiar to Eiji that he felt a smile tugging at the edges of his mouth despite the seriousness of the situation – before he said, "If you could just bring be back, then I obviously wasn't actually dead. And if I can't die, then I'm not necessarily alive. Because of you, I was alive, and, if you bring me back, it'll negate that. I'll be back to being a sentient pile of human greed."

Silence fell again, and Eiji didn't move to break it as his gaze drifted down to his clasped hands. He had never thought of it that way, had never thought that, maybe, Ankh's last words had been the full truth rather than something meant to placate. And, now that he really thought about it, that had been a stupid thing to believe. Ankh had never been one to try and comfort someone, not with words at least, and he wouldn't have made his last words to Eiji a lie. They meant too much to each other and knew each other too well for the blond to have done that.

Eiji looked up and met Ankh's eyes again, and he finally accepted that this was what Ankh wanted most. It hurt because it mean that he'd have to say goodbye for good once this was over, but Eiji also understood that he had to let the blond go once and for all. He never was any good at denying the red Greeed anything he'd _really_ wanted, especially when he clearly needed it so much.

So Eiji let go. He would always miss Ankh, but he finally accepted that the blond was gone and wasn't coming back. He would still carry the Taka Medal, but now it would be a memento instead of an obsession. He would take it with him to the places he'd wanted to show Ankh, and, when he was ready, he would give the blonde a proper burial with a proper marker.

He'd let go for now, and, one day, when his own time came, he wouldn't have to ever again.


End file.
